Marriage and the Quad

Hello, my name is Jasper and I am a quad.  I have been married twice in my life.  My first marriage lasted 22 years.  So, I feel as though I know something about the matter.  But, I have never been married while being in a wheel chair.  I was wondering to myself, what would that be like.  I am sure all of the love, patience and all the other emotions are involved.  But, still I wonder what it would like.  It has to be something different.  I would imagine it would take sometime for me to get over the feeling of being inadequate.  For a man not being able to physically do things for his spouse.  It weighs heavy on his mind.  I believe as men, we are sort of trained as toddlers to be caring and nurturing towards our female counterparts.  When you are in a position where you can't physically touch your spouse or being able to protect her if need be somehow makes you feel a little less than a man.  So first, I believe for me I would have to get past that hurdle first.  Not being able to do physical things for your spouse is like when a woman looses all her hair or looses a breast to cancer.  It may not make a difference to her husband, but it is something that she has to mentally get past.   So, since this is something that I have never experienced for myself I would appreciate some feedback.

Thank you,
this is Jasper

What To Do When Negativity Sets In

Hello My name is Jasper and I'm a quad and just like anyone else we all have good days and bad days.  You ever have one of those mornings when you just didn't want to get out of bed and it's hard to get motivated and you feel like you're already running out of steam?  Well, imagine how that would be along with not being able to move and do for yourself.  I find that when I'm in that state of mind that's all it is - a state of mind.  It means I have to smile maybe a little longer, crack a joke or two, hold my head up and keep going!  As I've said many times, being a quad we can not afford to throw pity parties for ourselves.  We must always strive to press forward no matter what the obstacle is.  This can be done by getting involved and being concerned about someone else instead of yourself.  It's hard to think of yourself when you're giving yourself away to someone else.  This will help to bring you out of that negative state of mind.  Everyday is not the same for normal people so I know it's not going to be the same for me.  It's just something I have to learn to deal with and it's called life.  My name is Jasper and these are a few of my thoughts.